oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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