so that wasnt chicken after all
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
