I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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