i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
