I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
