I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
