Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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