nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
