every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We left an ass print on the piano.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
