i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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