a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
