I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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