I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
