did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
