I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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