I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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