Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize