Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
worst night to have a conscience
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
