All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
we made out on top of his cat.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
