You're a womanizer and a bitch.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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