Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
