ugly people sure do ruin things
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
