I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Found your dick twin last night
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
