I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
