On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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