I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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