honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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