I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize