Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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