god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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