Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
