He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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