She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
