I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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