After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
