You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize