i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
