Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
