so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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