Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
