In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Randomize
