new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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