ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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