This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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