she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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