Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
