I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
