I cockslap morals
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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