Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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