I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
