she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
