i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize