True but thats because hes a fetus.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Of course I have a pirate flag
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
