Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
