Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
