Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
