After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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