Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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