fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
