Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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