What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize