I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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