I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
