just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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